I actually never thought much about sex, I mean Im only 12. Id let him finger me before, which I thought was good enough. I mean I was letting him do ...omething that he wanted to do. Cause it wasnt like I wanted it, it was just really uncomfortable and it hurt. That and we would make out all the time. I even let touch my body any where and any way that he wanted to. But he wanted more. He kept dropping hints like saying: he had a boner, or saying if I loved him that I would have sex with him (I. I acted innocent and said that “didi I don’t know much about women’s bodies and fucking.” She laughed and carressed my head tenderly. She said “Let me tell you that we women are like cars with different models. There are oldies like ambassadors, slim girls like maruti models and santros, full figured women like mistibushi lancers and icons. There are also beautiful women who can be compared to ferrari, mercedeses and bmw.” I told,”didi, you are also as hot as ferrari”. She smilingly brushed. But listen: there are differences between the two. The first type of change doesn't require any on-going work. You power up, write the change to the medium, the fabric, the..." The matrix?" I suggested innocently.She looked at me sourly. "Ha. Ha. Not quite. In the Matrix movies, the idea was an inner virtual reality and an outer actual reality that were both active, and different. This is, I grant, something like learning that there's an inner virtual reality, but there's no other reality going. From the couch, I see a blurry silhouette of the night as my eyes adjust. It's nothing but constant sheets of rain pouring from billowing dark clouds and strobing flashes of jagged white-blue light, like electric veins racing across the sky. The television's random digital glows bathe the living room in faint rainbow light. Little bits of our night surge through my mind. Lazily snuggling and flipping through channels; your laughter at some joke during the film that I can't recall; a small.
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